Let’s begin by saying that, generally, no one sets out to sabotage their relationship.
Most of us have the best intentions. We want things to work out and we try to be the perfect partner.
We put our hearts on the line and invest ourselves fully – expecting a positive outcome – although that’s not always how things turn out.
It seems like men and women have entirely different mindsets when it comes to love and relationships.
Something mundane that seems reasonable or even expected behavior for a woman might be a total deal-breaker for a man.
In today’s article, we’re going to focus on some of the biggest mistakes WOMEN make that push men away.
One of the biggest mistakes women make is overanalyzing everything.
Men usually say and do things without overthinking every move or word, while women can spend hours analyzing the nuances in every statement or act.
Yeah, it’s hard not to overthink everything when you just started seeing someone – since you don’t know how the other person thinks or where they stand.
However, overanalyzing everything a guy says and does, is going to make you come across a bit obsessive.
There’s no need to blow things out of proportion if he texts you a little less than the day before, or when he responds a little later than usual.
Constantly obsessing over the small stuff and confronting him about things that seem suspicious to you is a sure-fire way to make things uncomfortable, fast.
2. Not Giving Enough Space.
You can’t really blame a guy for wanting some space; you’re probably the same way too – to some degree.
Yes, there are a lot of guys who want ‘more space’ so they can have their cake and eat it too. But the majority of them aren’t like that.
Most guys simply just want some space to be on their own or to hang out with their buddies. They don’t want to feel imprisoned.
It’s rather stressful to a guy when his partner thinks that he’s being selfish or that he’s making up an excuse to go out and cheat – just because he asked for a little space.
3. Being A Drama Queen.
Everyone knows a drama queen or drama king.
It might be entertaining to observe their antics every once in a while, but it’s completely different if the attention-seeking person is someone you’re in a relationship with.
Some women have no trouble starting drama, even about the smallest things. They’re good at showing up and showing out – wherever and whenever.
This kind of behaviour not only leads to embarrassment, but it leaves a very poor impression – which only leads onlookers to speculate and gossip. And that’s a great way for rumors to start.
Whatever issues you might be having are best solved behind closed doors – between the two of you.
4. Expecting Him To Read Your Mind.
Another big mistake a woman can make in a relationship is expecting a man to always know what she’s thinking, without saying anything.
But expecting him to read your mind and to somehow magically know what’s wrong, will only make him want to disengage and push you away.
That’s how taxing this behavior can be. It’s much easier just to be upfront and honest.
Simply telling him what’s bothering you is refreshing – and it shows that you’re more interested in fixing the problem, rather than punishing him for upsetting you.
Making him guess accomplishes nothing – it only frustrates him more.
5. Trying To Change Him.
Trying to get someone to change isn’t a good foundation for any healthy relationship.
It’s one thing wanting to help a guy be the best he can be; it’s another tying to change his entire personality to fit your expectations.
Encouraging him to aim higher and helping him improve isn’t wrong at all, but taking it too far – nagging and criticizing him at every turn – isn’t helpful and will definitely drive him away.
6. Expecting (Or Giving) Too Much Too Soon.
Getting emotionally involved too soon in the relationship is a big turn-off for men. Sure, being excited about getting to know someone is natural – in fact, it’s encouraged;
but don’t get ahead of yourself and start rambling on about your relationship expectations on the third date.
Conversations like these should be saved for later – once the relationship has developed a bit more.
No matter how strongly you feel, bringing up topics like marriage and children too early will make him think you’re clingy – and maybe even a little crazy.
7. Getting In the Way of His Life Goals.
This one is much more serious than the other points listed so far.
Getting in the way of your partner’s success and stopping him from engaging in what he’s passionate about will make him run – and rightfully so.
And it should be the same for you – no relationship is worth giving up the things that mean the most to you.
8. Looking For Problems.
As the saying goes: “Seek, and you shall find.” If you’re going around looking for a problem, you’ll probably find it.
What I’m trying to say is that if you set out looking for problems with him or the relationship and prematurely decide that it’s not going to work out, you’ll probably get what you want.
Going through a guy’s personal info, trying to find evidence of him cheating or lying, will eventually reveal something you don’t like.
Finding some texts between him and another woman, that he didn’t tell you about, doesn’t mean he’s doing anything wrong.
But because of your suspicions, it will seem much larger than it is – regardless of whether or not he’s actually hiding something.
9. Insulting The Things He Loves.
Men normally don’t go around gushing about the things they love. They usually communicate in more subtle ways, and sometimes it may be hard to figure out how they feel about certain things.
For example, the rust bucket he calls a car might be embarrassing for you to ride in, but it may be very dear to him, like an old friend – maybe he’s had it since college.
If you insult his car, you’re basically insulting him. You may be insulting old memories assossiated with that rusty old thing. Of course, this applies to other aspects of his life as well – not just material things.
10. Insisting That He “Talks About It”.
One essential part of a healthy relationship is communication.
But, forcing a man to talk about his feelings or something he obviously doesn’t want to talk about, is extremely unhealthy and only pushes him away from you.
Instead of forcing him to open up to you, try to work on being non-judgemental and be more open yourself – it will help to encourage him. And after a while, it will make him feel more comfortable to open up as well.
Now, some guys never actually reach that point, and if it seems that he’s never going to open up and talk to you about the things that matter, your best bet is probably to move on.
Without proper communication, it’s impossible to solve any conflicts that may arise in the relationship.
11. Living In The Past.
Frequently bringing up your past relationships will set any guy off.
Exes and previous relationships are bound to come up eventually, but the juicy details should probably stay private.
No woman would be thrilled to hear about her partner’s past escapades in detail either. Would you?
Bringing up the past too often can make it seem like you’re not ready to move on, or that you want your new guy to be just like the old one.
12. Giving Him Ultimatums.
Giving or receiving ultimatums is a pretty good indicator that the relationship is nearing its end.
An ultimatum gives someone a chance to change something about themselves within a limited window of time – or face the consequences. But the thing is, no one should change for you – even if they would be better off changing.
Ultimatums might work in the short term and get him to change whatever it is you don’t like, but without him actually wanting to, there will be no real change.
Furthermore, pushing a man to change too many times, only leads to the build up of resentment and negative feelings. And this will surely drive him away eventually.
13. Pushing Him Into Marriage.
Perhaps the biggest mistake women make is forcing men into marriage. You should never guilt a man into popping the big question.
Don’t assume he’s ready just because you are. When he’s ready for it, he will propose. Men are usually pretty straightforward. They know what they want and what they don’t.
So trying to push him into something he might not want, or be ready for, will only push him in the opposite direction.
If you have any of these bad relationship habits, you may be driving your man away, without realizing it. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Focus more on improving yourself. Try to be kinder and more compassionate.
Give him space and be responsible for your own happiness. It will go a long way toward helping you avoid the very behaviors that drive men away.
Guys, do you agree with this list? Would you add anything else? And ladies, do you recognize any of these behaviors in yourselves?