18 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

When a guy really likes a girl, it’s typically quite obvious. So too when he doesn’t.

The uncertainty usually runs rampant if a guy seems to fall somewhere in between! You see, a guy can be somewhat interested, but not necessarily into you.

If you’re still wondering whether the guy you’re talking to is in it for the long haul or planning on ditching you at the next turn – the following signs are something you should definitely look out for!

1. You Initiate Every Connection.

Be it phone calls, texting or social media interaction, if you’re the one always starting the conversation, it’s a sign he’s not that into you.

Women are wired to be pursued, and men are wired to pursue. If you aren’t being pursued by the guy in question, it’s a red flag that he isn’t as invested as you are.

Step back, and give him the opportunity to text first sometimes. If he doesn’t, take the sign for what it is and move on.

2. He Doesn’t Text Back In A Timely Manner.

We all have busy lives, and no one has the time to sit there and text back every five seconds. However, this doesn’t give someone an excuse to take days to reply to a text.

If he leaves you waiting by the phone, then he obviously doesn’t respect you or your time. So take the clue and look for someone who will actually give a crap.

3. He Makes No Effort To Be Part Of Your Life.

A guy who is excited about being with you, will be excited to introduce you to the people who are important to him.

Obviously, if it’s early in the relationship, you should not be expecting to meet his grandma or show up to his dad’s birthday…

But, if he only wants to hang out solo, and never wants to hang out with your family or friends, and his family and friends are still unaware of your existence – know that he doesn’t have any deep feelings for you.

You’re just a girlfriend of convenience to him and that’s all.

4. He Flirts With Everybody.

It’s super easy to become interested in someone who’s flirting with you. After all, it can make you feel good… and that makes you wonder if you make them feel good too.

Here’s the thing, if a guy is interested in you, he IS going to make a move. A guy who flirts with everybody isn’t shy – he’s going to go after what he wants.

So if you’re thinking that he’s interested in you because he’s flirting with you, but he’s NOT making a move and he flirts with lots of other people, he’s probably not that into you.

5. He’s Too Spontaneous.

Most girls love to get swept off their feet by a surprise date.

But, when it’s always a surprise and nothing ever gets planned, that’s when things start to get fishy. Is it because he hates making plans?

Or could it be because his plans got cancelled, and he knows that you’re always available to hang out with him? Just think about it…

6. He Always Calls When It’s Late And He’s Drunk.

This one has to be the biggest red flag! What else is there to do when it’s late and his cognitive skills have been flushed down the toilet?

Well, no call or text from a guy after 12 am means he wants to have a deep emotional conversation…

Seriously, if he only texts or snaps you at 2 am, or after a night of drinking with his friends – I think it’s safe to say that he’s just looking for a booty call.

7. He Cancels At The Last Minute.

You’re all made up and ready to go out, and then you suddenly receive a text from the guy saying that he can’t make it.

You’re devastated – yet you’re tempted to convince yourself that there must be an emergency. Of course, things happen, and sometimes we just have to cancel our plans.

However, if it happens often, it may be a sign that this guy doesn’t value your time – and therefore finds it rather easy to just leave you hanging.

8. He Doesn’t Offer Alternatives.

If he turns you down and doesn’t offer new plans – like going out next weekend instead, and actually following through – then he’s not too invested in you.

If he was into you and was honestly just busy, he wouldn’t want you to think that he was turning you down – he would suggest alternatives, and make it a point to schedule it.

Now, he may apologize, say he misses you, or that he hopes to hang out soon – but if he’s not following through, then he’s just full of shit.

If you try to offer alternative options, and he says “maybe” or that he will be “really busy next week”, he’s is probably not into you.

9. You Don’t Have Much To Talk About.

If you’re constantly searching to fill the awkward silence in person or on the phone, or if your text banter always falls apart rather quickly, this may be a sign that something’s off.

If he avoids eye contact with you and isn’t a good listener when you talk, that’s even worse.

A man who is interested in a woman, wants to hear what she has to say. He will listen and ask questions to learn more about her. A man who isn’t, won’t.

10. He Tells You What You Want To Hear.

If a man is leading you on and isn’t that into you, it won’t keep him from saying exactly what you want to hear, If he’s a player, then he knows exactly what to say and do to get you interested!

So there’ll be times when he’ll pay you lots of compliments, or he’ll act like he ‘thinks’ you’re amazing.

That said, the romance won’t last – there’s something missing, and it ends as quickly as it starts.

11. He Doesn’t Get Jealous At All.

A guy who’s into you, is a guy who’s sensitive to competition. He may not threaten to fight any guy who looks at you…

But, an interested guy is a guy who’s going to pay attention when you mention another guy.

So, whether you’re casually dating him and want to know if he wants something more, or whether you have a crush on him and want to know if the feelings are mutual – watch how he reacts when you mention plans with a guy friend of yours.

If he instantly snaps his attention to you and starts asking questions – it means he’s probably somewhat into you. But if he couldn’t care less, it’s a huge sign that he’s not.

12. He Makes No Time For You.

No matter how busy he is, the right guy will always make time for you in his busy schedule. He’ll enjoy spending time with you.

So, if your guy spends more time hanging out with his friends, and avoids seeing you because he has too many daily responsibilities (and some ‘extra’ tasks at work he has to fulfill) – you can be sure you’re not headed in the same direction.

13. He’s Super Secretive.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. No one should feel obligated to give up passwords or make their personal email account accessible to anyone.

However, if this guy consistently closes his laptop when you enter the room, keeps his phone with him when he goes to the bathroom, and behaves in a paranoid manner when you get close to his tech devices – then something’s definitely up.

A guy who acts like he has something to hide, probably does, And by ‘something’ I mean ‘someone’ else.

14. He Refuses To Be Seen In Public With You.

If you both have only ever hung out in a private place – specifically your apartment or his – you two were never a thing.

Not taking you out in public, especially during the daytime is a bad sign. This means not only does he not want to be seen with you, but he doesn’t even see you as dating material.

15. You’re Having Doubts.

The great thing about most men is that they can be very straightforward. If they like you, they’ll do what they can to let you know. And if they don’t, they can also be painfully blunt about it.

However, if you still find yourself trying to decipher every little gesture, then his signs are obviously not clear enough.

Doubt in itself tells you that he’s not going the extra mile to make sure his feelings or intentions are obvious.

16. You’re Not Part Of His Future Plans.

A guy who is truly into you will always include you in his plans for his future, and he’ll make sure you know that.

It would be impossible for him to imagine his future without you by his side.

So, if your guy looks comfortable keeping his attention on the present, and doesn’t bother to talk about where your relationship is going (let alone mention things like moving in together or getting married), he’s definitely not into you.

17. He Says He’s Not Ready For A Relationship.

If a guy says any of the following cringe-worthy statements:

  • “I’m not ready for a relationship”
  • “I’m not looking for anything serious”
  • “I don’t want you to fall in love with me”

Run like the hills, because he’s not trying to be cute and act like he’s emotionally scarred. It means he’s not interested in a relationship – and nothing you do will change that.

18. He Ghosted You.

Ah, the classic dilemma that is sweeping our generation. If you hooked up with a guy, and he never ever responds to any of your text messages or calls, then you should just delete his number and move on.

No, his phone didn’t fall into a toilet and break…

He just doesn’t care. It sucks when you really like someone, and they’re just not into you – but it’s better to know sooner rather than later.

Ladies, if a guy is doing any of these things to you, then do yourself a favor – take the hint and let him go. You’ll be thankful for backing away before falling in too deep!

What do you think? Are you currently interested in, or seeing a guy who shows any of these signs?

And guys, Do you agree with this list?