15 Reasons Why Highly Intelligent People Struggle With Love

Humans are hardwired to connect and form relationships. However, establishing and maintaining relationships is not always easy. While there are many people out there who seem to struggle with love, for the highly intelligent, it can be even more difficult.

It might be easy for them to find solutions and figure things out – but, when it comes to love, many intelligent people often fall short.

To them, love can seem nonsensical or unreasonable – they have a hard time wrapping their heads around it.

So, let’s find out why intelligent people often struggle with love!

1. They Overthink Everything.

Intelligent people tend to be detail-oriented. They often like to check out and analyze all the qualities and characteristics of someone before starting a relationship with them.

One funny thing about them is that they can play out every possible scenario in their minds – analyzing all the possible ways a relationship could go wrong.

And often times, because there are many more ways for things to go wrong, they conclude that since the bad outweighs the good, there’s no point in starting the relationship at all.

2. They Are Comfortable Being Independent.

Intelligent people are generally very comfortable all by themselves. In fact, the more intelligent someone is, the more they value independence.

They are totally secure and at peace with who they are and what they have, such that they are often careful to avoid anything that could cripple their independence – even relationships.

Some believe, getting into a relationship will steal away their independence, so they try to avoid it, or at least stay single for just a while longer.

But the truth is, that when you’re in a mature relationship with someone that truly loves you, they won’t try to control you nor will they interfere with your independence.

3. They Trust Their Minds More Than Their Hearts.

Because of their analytical minds, smart people like to make decisions based on facts and figures. They make every decision after logically considering all the options.

As a result, they often stick to whatever their brain tells them, irrespective of whatever they feel in their heart.

To a certain point, this way of thinking is beneficial, but there are times when they could be better off listening to their hearts – especially when it comes to love.

4. They Are More Suspicious.

Being very careful about selecting partners is a wise decision, but being too careful can be a problem. Intelligent people are easily suspicious – especially when trying to choose a partner.

They can think up a lot of bad things, all because they don’t want to be deceived into selecting the wrong person.

Sometimes, this might work in their favour – but, because of this, they can be alone for long periods of time.

5. They Prioritize Their Goals in Life.

You’ve probably met someone who seems to have their entire lives figured out, down to their dreams and goals – all laid out. Intelligent people tend to be like this.

They have dreams and plans that they set timelines to, and they often drop everything else to focus on them.

They are so focused on achieving their goals, that they have very little time for a relationship.

Even when they are in a relationship, smart people put a great deal of focus on working toward their dreams – all the while their partners complain of being ignored.

6. Beauty Doesn’t Come First.

Another reason smart people struggle with love is that they spend so much time trying to figure out if someone is the right type of partner.

They place more value on intelligence than appearance. They would rather wait to get to know the other person’s true personality before making up their minds.

However, if you delay too much in making this choice, you risk ending up alone – as most people won’t wait too long.

7. They Have High Standards.

Intelligent people often have high standards regarding things and the people who surround them. They want their lives to be perfect and they don’t want to lower their standards because of whatever everyone around them might be doing.

Smart people have a certain idea of the kind of person they want to be with – and they will not waste time on someone who they don’t believe is a good match.

Finding your exact specifications often proves very difficult – and if you have very high unyielding standards, you might have to wait for a very long time.

8. They Can Be Guarded.

Intelligent people can have a hard time opening up to others – and they can seem to have a wall around them. They have a hard time sharing their secrets with people, because they rarely trust anyone.

They often reflect back on the past, and think about situations where they were hurt when they opened up to others.

Because of this, they can seem a bit cold and detached, but that’s just because they’re trying to protect themselves from being hurt again.

9. They’re Intimidating.

People are usually afraid of pursuing smart people because they appear intimidating.

They don’t want to be rejected so they don’t bother. Some even think they can’t date very intelligent people because they’re not in the same “class”.

But truly, as intimidating as they might appear, smart people are emotional beings too. They just hide their soft spots behind their tough exterior. All they need is someone who will be patient and understand them.

10. They Don’t Like Restrictions.

Intelligent people like to express themselves. They don’t like being around people who box them in, or restrict them from doing the things they love.
They really value being free to move around as they please and do the things that give them joy.

No matter who you are, or the extent of your relationship with them, once intelligent people begin to feel caged, they will leave for their freedom.

11. They Are Bold.

Intelligent people are mostly bold.

They prefer to express their minds rather than being quiet and reserved about their opinions. As a result, they can sometimes seem a bit rude with their words. Freely expressing your mind has its benefits, but sometimes its effect can be negative.

For example, in a relationship, there are times that you have to be gentle and quiet, even though you have many things to say.

Learning to be quiet will save you from unnecessary stress and arguments.

12. They Cannot Afford To Lose.

Intelligent people don’t always understand that not all fights are meant to be won. Sometimes, when arguing with your partner, you just have to let go for peace to reign. Yes, you have points to prove and your argument is sound.

But relationships are not debates and there are no winners. So, for peace in a relationship, there are times you have to concede your position.
You can’t always be right – even when you are.

13. Partners Can’t Keep Up.

Being average or super intelligent is not really the problem. You just have to find someone who will be able to relate with you on the same level.

Intellectual mismatch can be a big problem in a relationship. When you and your partner can’t hold a conversation or relate with each other’s habits and activities, then the relationship struggles.

14. They Can Get Bored Of Their Partner.

Intelligent people find new things fascinating. But because of their love for learning, their fascination only lasts until they figure something out.

After understanding it, they get bored and move on to other intriguing things. However, this can impact their relationships.

When they fall in love, the emotions attached and other involvements intrigue them for a while – but after they have figured out their partner, they may lose interest and start to look elsewhere for stimulation.

15. They Are Single By Choice.

The final reason why intelligent people are often single is because they choose to be.

Some of them may consider love and courtship as old and outdated practices, and they just don’t understand the hype around them.

Like all their decisions, they weigh all the options and decide they are just better alone.

This does not in any way imply that you have to be dumb to fall in love. The truth is that many people have a hard time finding love. But according to studies, the more intelligent you are, the harder it may be for you to find love.

We want to know what you think!